I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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