when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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