New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
