There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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