My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Congratulations! We have a period
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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