Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize