Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I think I sprained my soul last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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