he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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