its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Drunk is a universal language darling
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
