he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
