I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
