this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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