GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize