Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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