i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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