I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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