wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
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almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
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Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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