All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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