Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
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