You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
