Duck Duck Cougar?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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