What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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