Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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