We're facebook friends in real life
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Randomize
