my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
