Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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