You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
