i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
