wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
