My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
