im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
