She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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