rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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