your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Too much gin, very little bucket
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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