And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
