I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
