The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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