I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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