I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
