Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
