what day is it and did you see me today?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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