So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
