And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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