Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
