I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
