Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
