you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
