So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
