HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
