her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
