Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
