I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize