I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
