Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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