dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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