'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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