yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
