Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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