My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
