if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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