Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
