tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
