I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize