Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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