My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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