Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
whose parrot is this?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I can't put those talents on a resume
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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