I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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