he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize